Four Types of Communication Styles
Communication Styles
Introduction
Each one of us has a style of communicating that is unique. Some of us are talkative and extroverted while others are quiet and reserved. Some of us are outspoken while others are less likely to share their opinions in public. Still others of us are formal and direct while others are informal and like to take our time getting to the main point. So how do these different styles of communication impact us in the workplace?
When you work with someone who has a decidedly different communication style from your own, that difference can act as one of the barriers to effective communication. You may feel that someone is being aloof and cold while they feel that they are being quick and business-like. Or you might feel that someone is being too analytical and detailed, while they feel that you aren’t recognizing the importance of the small things that can make a big difference.
There is away to overcome these differences, however. It involves learning the basic characteristics of the different communication styles and how they influence the context in which your communication is happening. If you can learn to understand the other person’s communication style and how it is manifesting itself in the way they communicate, you are learning your audience and what they need in order to understand your message. You can then encode your message in a way that they will be more likely to be able to decode it, thereby increasing the chance that your message will be delivered successfully.
To put it another way, imagine that you are in a foreign country. You can stumble about, using your own words for things and trying to communicate, with the result being that one or both parties may become frustrated–and with very little chance that you will get the result that you want.
But if you can speak the language of the person you want to speak with, suddenly you can communicate. You can ask for what you need, give them the information they need, and hopefully achieve the result that is the original aim of your message. When you employ this communication tool, you simply make the choice to communicate to your audience in their ‘native tongue.’
So how do you start? You begin by studying the four basic communication styles and how they relate to each other. You identify your own personal communication style and what particular barriers you might face when communicating with the other styles. Then you learn some simple tools you can use to enhance your communication with others, no matter what communication style they are.
The Communication Styles Matrix
There are many different models that describe the ways in which we communicate. But one very useful model is based on the work of Dr. Eileen Russo. Her matrix is displayed in Figure 8 below. It shows that there are two different dimensions in communication styles: the level of expressiveness and the level of assertiveness.
Figure8: The Communication Styles Matrix
Each quadrant in Figure8 represents a different communication style. People can fall anywhere within each quadrant, becoming more uniformly one style over the others as they move further from the center.
Notice that the more assertive communication styles tend to ‘tell’ others what to do. The less assertive communication styles tend to ‘ask’ others what should be done. The more expressive communication styles tend to show their emotions in their face, speech, and tone. The less expressive styles will either not express their emotions or will work to hide them. The resulting four basic communication styles are shown in Figure9. In the following sections, we’ll look at the basic characteristics of each communication styles and some things you can do to help you communication well with each type.
Low Expressiveness + Low Assertiveness = Systematic
Low Expressiveness + High Assertiveness = Direct
High Expressiveness + High Assertiveness=Spirited
High Expressiveness + Low Assertiveness=Considerate
Figure 9: The Four Basic Communication Styles
1. Direct Communication Style
As indicated in the communication style matrix, people with the direct communication style are highly assertive and not expressive. They tend to tell others what to do instead of asking others what they think should be done, and they will not easily show emotions in their communications with others. Their communication style is meant to be expedient, though others may not always see it that way. They may appear terse and cold to others, who might take their style of communicating personally.
Direct communicators will try to tell you as little as possible before moving on to the next topic–not because they are trying to be evasive, but because they are trying to save time. They won’t always stop to listen to others, even if the others have something valuable to contribute. They may seem impatient and over bearing at times, but it’s not meant to be personal. They are attempting to focus on results rather than emotions. They will speak their minds, even if it could be off-putting to others. Don’t expect them to talk about their personal lives–they like to keep business and personal issues separate. They don’t back down from conflict, and at times could be seen as being aggressive rather than assertive in the way that they express their opinions.
Tips for Communicating if You Have a Direct Communication Style
· Make an effort to listen fully to others and avoid interrupting
· Allow time for ‘chatting’ at the beginning of a meeting
· Recognize that others may feel the need to express their emotions about topics
· Recognize that brainstorming can be helpful and not just a ‘time waster’
· Try to communicate your expectations for how a meeting will go–the length of time, the topics to be covered, and the expected results–before a meeting occurs
· Take the time to show your appreciation for others’ contributions
· Don’t u see mail for sensitive or complicated topics
· Allow time in your schedule for questions and feedback
Tips for Communicating with People with a Direct Communication Style
· Ask if they have time to talk before jumping in
· Get to the point quickly– don’t bore them with lots of back ground information
· Limit ‘chatting’ or conversation that is off-topic
· Use short, direct sentences
· Ask for a specific call to action or make a specific request
· Do not speak in the abstract
· Only promise what you are certain you can deliver
· Don’tgiveoraskforinformationaboutpersonalissuesunlesstheyinitiateit
· Don’t sugar coat things–speak plainly
2. Spirited Communication Style
People with the spirited communication style are very interested in the ‘big picture’. They are the dreamers, the inventors, and the innovators in the group. Their communication may be full of grand ideas and hyperboles that tend to be very persuasive to others at first.
However, they are not always very good at discussing the details or the exact steps in the process. They will tend to go off on tangent sin their conversations, and like to interject anecdote sin to their dialogues in order to demonstrate or drive home a point.
Keeping to an agenda is sometimes a challenge for those with the spirited communication styles inceboth time management and remaining focuse dare challenges forth is group. Their written or verbal communication may tend to wards the dramatic. While they can be very entertaining, getting them to communicate clearly on specific topics may take the assistance of someone else to guide them through a conversation and keep them on track by bringing them back to the subject at hand.
Tips for Communicating if You Have a Spirited Communication Style
· When considering new ideas to share, also consider whether or not you have suggestions on how to put those ideas in to action
· Respect agreed-upon agendas and time limits when in meetings
· Try to limit your sharing of personal anecdotes that take the group off-topic
· Make sure you are allowing others to contribute their ideas and suggestions–and that you are listening
· Be certain any requests you make are clear and that you convey there as on for asking
· Communicate your appreciation for others’ work and in put
Tips for Communicating with People Who Have a Spirited Communication Style
· Use an agenda with time limits listed for each topic
· Praise them in front of other people
· Learn to gently redirect the conversation back to the topic at hand
· Understand that they may exaggerate
· Challenge them to break down their‘ big ideas’ into specific outcomes and steps
· Reaffirm with them what they have agreed to do
· Use check-lists or other written reminders as away to help communicate what needs to be done
3. Systematic Communication Style
Those with a systematic communication style like to focus on facts and details rather than opinions and possibilities. Expect to use and appreciate logic when you communicate with a systematic. They will appreciate facts and analysis rather than the ‘big picture’ ideas that have not yet been proved useful.
They may be slower to respond to your communication, as they are probably analyzing the situation and constructing a logical, well thought-out response. Charts, graphs and trends are all useful tools for communicating with systematic as well.
Those with a systematic communication style are uncomfortable with expressing their feelings about things and do not like conflict. They may tend to shut down communication rather than dealing with emotional or confrontational situations. If you give them directions, you will need to be very thorough and precise in relaying them.
The more information you can give them, the happier they will be–as long as the information is relevant to the current discussion or is relevant background information.
Tips for Communicating if You Have a Systematic Communication Style
ü Recognize that not everyone follows linear thought processes and decision-making
ü Realize that for good working relationships, consideration for others’ feelings is important
ü Learn to ask qualifying questions that will help you get the information you need
ü Ask others questions about themselves if you want to build rapport
ü Make sure you understand the scope of a project so that you don’t waste time collecting information that is not going to be needed
ü If you need to ask for more time for analysis, be able to explain the benefit of the information you are working on
Tips for Communicating with People with a Systematic Communication Style
● Focus on the facts of the situation rather than individuals’ opinions
● Speak with precision and accuracy rather than generalizations
● Be Organized, on time, and topic when you communicate with them
● Give logical reasons for your actions and for what you ask of them
● Allow Them Time For Research And Analysis Before Decision-making
● Avoid Personal Topics Unless They Open The Conversation
4. Considerate Communication Style
Those with the considerate communication style are very concerned about the feelings of others. They want to please other people and to be included in her peer group. They like to work with others, help others, and connect to the reason personal level. If there is conflicting your group, they will be the ones to attempt to mediate it. They want everyone to have the chance to speak their minds, have their turns, and receiver recognition for their contribution. They are natural trainers and counselors, and enjoy helping others succeed. They will encourage group collaboration and communication, though they are not always inclined to speak their own minds.
This is the major communication challenge for those with the considerate personality style– they may be reluctant to share an opposing opinion, even if it’s important information, because they are concerned about keeping the peace and being liked.
They are also inclined to take direct communication as a personal matter. It’s difficult for them to separate other people's’ opinions about a topic from their opinions about them, and so may feel that an opposing opinion is due to not liking them. There is also the possibility that they will be talked into something in order to preserve the peace rather than standing their ground.
Tips for Communicating if You Have a Systematic Communication Style
Ø Recognize that not everyone follows linear thought processes and decision-making
Ø Realize that for good working relationships,consideration for others’ feelings is important
Ø Learn to ask qualifying questions that will help you get the information you need
Ø Ask others questions about themselves if you want to build rapport
Ø Make sure you understand the scope of a project so that you don’t waste time collecting information that is not going to be needed
Ø If you need to ask for more time for analysis, be able to explain the benefit of the information you are working on
Tips for Communicating with People with a Systematic Communication Style
ü Focus on the facts of the situation rather than individuals’ opinions
ü Speak with precision and accuracy rather than generalizations
ü Be Organized, on time, and topic when you communicate with them
ü Give logical reasons for your actions and for what you ask of them
ü Allow Them Time For Research And Analysis Before Decision-making
ü Avoid Personal Topics Unless They Open The Conversation
Examples of Communication for Each Style
It will take some time and practice to learn exactly what will work in communicating with the people in your work group. Hopefully you recognized the people in your office in the descriptions of the different communication styles in the last section. If not, you can pay more attention to how they communicate with you as a sign of their main communication style. Remember too that not everyone.
It will also take practice for you to become comfortable in altering your own communication style or methods in order to best communicate with others. You will still be inclined to your natural communication style, which is to be expected. It will also be easier to do at first when you have the time to think about your communication ahead of time, such as when writing an email. However, overtime, you will find that you can adjust faster and employ the tools that you need without thinking it out ahead of time.
Direct Style
When communicating with someone who has the direct communication style, the key is to get to the main point of your communication as soon as possible, and to do so in as efficient as manner as possible. The first example below shows the type of communication that will not work with someone who has a direct communication style. In this example, Jane is the one with the direct communication style.
Hi Jane,
I heard from Alex that you landed a new large business account yesterday. He said that you did an excellent job in explaining the company’s benefits to the customer and that you were very professional.
Alex also said that the customer asked for a quote on a new phone system for his existing offices. Have you thought about how you will proceed? Let me know if I can help you get the quote together or if you need any ideas on the configuration. I'd like to get the quote to the later this week if you think you can manage it. That way we would have a good chance of getting the order in for this month’s numbers.
Thanks again, and hope you are having a good Tuesday so far !
Anne
What is the main point of the communication? What is there quested action? How much of the communication is superfluous information?
A person with a direct communication style will not necessarily glean what you want them to door by when. They will appreciate the accolade, but they won’t appreciate the personal references or information.
Jane,
Great job on the new account. I’d like to meet for10-15 minutes tomorrow to discuss strategy and timing. Please let me know if you’d prefer to meet at1:00, 1:30,or2:00pm.
Thank you, Anne
See the difference? The first one does eventually get around to the point, but it is too personal-sounding and doesn’t give a clear request for the direct person respond to. These condone still communicates approval and makes a request, but it does so in much clear way. If it seems curt to you, don’t worry–the direct style person will appreciate it. It’s a perfectly professional communication and there is much less chance form is understanding.
Spirited Style
When communicating with someone who is spirited, it might be hard to even pin them down for communication in the first place. And once you have their attention, keeping it is another matter entirely. You will find that consistency is important in communicating with people who are spirited. If you can get them used to a particular format or method of communication, it will be easier to keep them communicating. This doesn’t mean always choosing email oral ways choosing telephone. But it does mean always using follow-up questions or checking in on a regular basis to see if you are both still on the same page.
Also remember that a person with a spirited style may need more time to brainstorm and discuss ideas than the other communication styles. If you want them to come to the table with decisions already made, be sure to get their buy-in beforehand. Otherwise they may still find the need to discuss something that you already felt was decided.
Finally, you can go a long way towards relationship-building with a spirited style person if you give them the opportunity to shine. Does your team need to make a presentation? Let the spirited person know that you think they would be a good choice to lead. Complimenting them in a public arena is a good choice as well. Here’s an example of a good written communication to a spirited person.
Hi Sally!
I thought your presentation yesterday was fantastic! I enjoyed the way that you had the audience participate in the session.
I think you would be a great choice for the educational component at our next board meeting. The Board of Directors needs some information about local economic trends, but in a way that is not too boring or complicated.
Would you like to have lunch to discuss it? I’m free on Thursday or Friday this week. Let me know if either of those days will work for you.
Thanks so much! George
Why would this communication work for a spirited person? It is enthusiastic, complementary, and would be flattering to Sally. She will be pleased that you noticed her first presentation and more pleased that you would like her to repeat it.
Or course, you’re sure to have a very excited person on your hands at lunch. So be prepared. You could bring an outline of the topics you want to cover at the presentation. Ask for her input and make sure you’ve planned enough time to let her give it. Then help her narrow the ideas down and note them down for her. Sending a follow-up email or note will help ensure that you are both on the same page as well. Remember, the spirited person is very valuable for all their talents and enthusiasm–so with a little structure around your communications you can be successful in communicating without stifling the very qualities they bring to the table.
Systematic Style
When you need to communicate with a person who has the systematic communication style, remember that facts are what to emphasize. Opinions are not going to be very effective. Use logical, linear thinking and communicate in the same way. Step them through your thinking–don’t jump ahead of any steps. It will save you time in the long run if you take the time to explain your argument or thoughts through the first time.
If you need a systematic to make a decision, let data do the talking for you as much as possible. Have charts? Know some trends? Have examples to show how something works? All of these can be useful in communicating with a systematic person. If you are attempting to encourage a systematic to support an idea that is not supported by the data, you will be in for a bit of a challenge. However, you can still get their help if you can logically explain your position.
Remember too that systematic types are not prone to sharing personal information with work colleagues.
You shouldn’t take this personally–it's simply what they prefer. Yet if they do broach a personal subject with you, you can usually take it assign that they feel more comfortable with youth others.
The example of how not to communicate with a direct communication style person is a good example of how not to communicate with someone systematic style as well. You could also avoid phrases like:
● It’s my opinion that…
● I believe that…
● I Feel That…
Instead, try using phrases like:
● The Data Shows That…
● The Trends Show That…
● The results of the tests show…
The chart below gives more suggestions for language that will work better with systematics:
5
Instead of… Use…
Next week Thursday at 3:00p.m.
In a timely manner Within two weeks
An upward trend An increase of12% over five years
Figure18: Suggestions for Language to Use with Systematics
Considerate Style
To best communicate with someone who is a considerate communication style, remember that the person’s feelings are going to be important. They will listen best when you make them feel as if their feelings are important to you, their opinion is important to you, and that you value them as team member and a contributor. This doesn’t mean that you have to become very emotionally expressive yourself, but showing in interesting them as an individual will go a long way. Why not start your communication with an inquiry into how their child is doing, or how their last vacation was? The small investment of your time can have a great return.
If you have something to communicate that will perhaps be perceived as a critical, you will need to tread cautiously in order to be effective. Let the person know that you appreciate their work, and name the aspects that you find valuable and good. Then note the changes that need to be made, explaining the reason for the changes as much as you can. Smile, and use open body language to let them know that there is nothing personal in what is being said. Whenever possible, use requests instead of imperatives in discussing the needed changes.
For considerate style people, the example of used a show not to speak to a direct style person is actually good one to use for a considerate style. It builds to the point easily, it shows care for the other person, and it makes are question a friendly, personal manner.
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing.
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